Better late than never... Am I right?!

“A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”

Getting diagnosed with and treated for ADHD at the ripe old age of 30 was simutaneously encouraging and devastating. But since that day, life has been better than ever.

Before I get the point of that story, this week's topic focused on the human experience and UX/UI, and how they are dependent on one another. I appreciated learning about how empathy and vulnerability are required for good design. Pretty good news to me because those are two of my default modes of operation. One of the exercises was just being vulnerable with each other, and I found a lot of value in that. Building off of that discussion, we were asked to blog about something that makes us all feel pretty vulnerable; failure. More specifically the kind of failure that doesn't necessarily get resolved.

So that brings us back to the ADHD thing. Honestly, the meme says everything you need to know about my life from the time I became a conscious being to my late twenties. Many tears were shed, many sleepless nights had, my physical and mental health deteriorated, my bank accounts suffered, and crippling doubt followed me around like a shadow. There wasn't one single failure, it was many series of unfortunate events, big and small, that would sometimes snowball. Not saying this for pity, just setting the scene.

I mean it felt totally hopeless at times, and I felt helpless a lot of the time. Probably more often than not. The times that I did perform well were quickly spoiled by my sense of worthlessness that came from the failures. I will say that this way of life pushed me to try and learn so many new and interesting things. Is it unhealthy coping by avoidance? Probably. But I think it does make me a cooler and wiser person in the long run.

In 2020 I was afforded the opportunity to receive counseling on a weekly basis thanks to my employer's generous benefits plan. I actually started going for a completely unrelated reason, but a few months in, my counselor recognized some ADHD characteristics in my behavior and we started to treat it. After a while, we weren't seeing a lot of improvement, and she encouraged me to see a psychiatrist to try the medical route while I continued the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. My doctor and I then spent about six months working together to find the right treatment plan. Great news... we were successful!

The thing is, there isn't a cure. You don't just do a few counseling sessions and take a round of medications like antibiotics and suddenly you're showing up early to your appointments and remembering everyone's birthdays. Nah, it's for life. Treatment plans will change, but I'll experience the challenges that come with executive brain dysfunction for as long as I'm here. But would you look at that?! There is fun in dsyfunction! :)

That's the thing about that thing. Now I know what I'm dealing with. It's got a name, I can learn about it, I can find community with others that experience it, and, most importantly, I can find the good in it.

Yeah, I'm always going to be a terrible test taker, but I can adapt a new skill every day of the week and never get tired of it. Want to learn how to ice skate? I got you. Need to replace your garbage disposal? Give me a call.

Sure, I will suffer the consequences of time blindness, but I will dedicate myself to my interests, important issues, and exciting projects to deliver high quality experiences, solutions, and products.

It's all about perspective, grace, and patience. There's a seed of win in every setback, sometimes it's just planted a little deeper and needs a little more time to sprout.